Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
