why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
