i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
