My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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