This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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