And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
