Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She's the barista slut.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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