Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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