Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
