Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize