I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
