Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
