I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
