I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
