its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
