So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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