That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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