I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
