you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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