I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
