at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
