If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
