They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
