I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
