i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
