you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
