I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
