I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
