How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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