Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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