I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
