I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
