I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
