i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
