Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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