This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize