So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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