Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sorry my hands just texted you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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