Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Come share oat with me in your robe
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
