naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
