So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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