sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
