I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
