matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm always down for nudity.
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