Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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