im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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