Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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