You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there was a trapeze. enough said
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
