I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
