Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I FOUND THE LEGS
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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