Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
